Try Fear Read online

I took a half step back and tried to jumble some thoughts together.

  “What’s wrong?” Kimberly said.

  “I have to do something,” I said.

  “Here, I hope.”

  “I have to see something.”

  “When?”

  “Now.”

  “Not again,” she said. “You can’t be doing this again.”

  “Can I call you later?”

  “What is it with you?”

  “A good question, Kimberly. That’s what I have to find out.”

  She looked at the ceiling. “Is this going to be a journey of self-discovery or some other retro thing?”

  “Maybe.”

  “There are some aging hippies in Topanga Canyon who can help.”

  I touched her arm. “I had a great time tonight.”

  “Oh, wow. I haven’t heard that one since high school. No, come to think of it, I was the one who said it.” She laughed.

  “I believe you,” I said.

  “You’re going to regret this. You’re going to look back and realize what a mistake you made.”

  “You may be right.”

  “I don’t win cases by being wrong.”

  I kissed her cheek. “See you in court, then.”

  “I look forward to it,” she said.

  183

  WHAT I HAD to see was in Eagle Rock.

  I got there at eleven the next morning, after a trip to the Apple store. Mary Landis had the room in the very back corner of the house. She let me in, but kept the door open.

  Her room was spare. Nothing on the walls but a crucifix and a calendar.

  “Where are my manners?” Mary said. “Can I get you something to drink? Some water? Or… some water?”

  “I think I’ll have water,” I said. “Do you have a Sparkletts ’ninety-three?”

  “I’ll check the cellar,” she said.

  There was a small white refrigerator by the window. She pulled out a bottle of water and tossed it to me. She opened one for herself.

  I held my bottle out in the gesture of a toast. She laughed and tapped her bottle on mine, then we drank.

  I hoped she couldn’t see that the bottle was shaking in my hand.

  “What’s in the box?” she said.

  “A little present.” I handed it to her.

  She opened it and took out the iPod and dock that I’d purchased.

  “You’re kidding me,” she said.

  “It’s the least I can do for the best investigator I ever had.”

  She looked like she wanted to speak, but the words were sticking in her throat.

  I gently took the dock and iPod from her. “Let’s try it out,” I said.

  I went to an outlet and plugged it in. I set it on the carpet because there was no table nearby. I got on my knees and stuck in the iPod, which I’d specially prepped at the store. I turned it on.

  “I have some of my own selections on here,” I said. “I hope you like ’em.”

  I looked her way. She was at the other wall, her right arm across her body, holding her left arm. As if to relieve some pain from her shoulder wound. Or some other kind of pain.

  I found the song I wanted. The soft, smooth Eric Marienthal version of Mary’s favorite Beatles song.

  I stood.

  Mary was looking at the floor. There’s about ten seconds of intro before the tune gets recognizable. Mary’s face was expectant, waiting to hear what the song was.

  She may have heard my pulse. In my ears it sounded like a Salvation Army drum. But this was the only way I could figure this thing out. I didn’t know what words to use. I thought if I used the wrong ones, it would be like touching a soap bubble.

  I didn’t want the bubble to pop. But it wasn’t my call. It had to be hers, all the way. Which is why I was silent. Which is why I cooked up this crazy plan. I guess I put my own faith in this: I’ve spent a lot of years studying faces. Jurors. Witnesses. Judges. Prosecutors. But this was going to be the most important judgment of my life.

  Then Marienthal’s sax started in on the first line of the tune. Recognizable. Mary’s eyes widened, and she snapped her head up to look at me.

  The song was what connected us, across the small room, which now seemed the size of a football field.

  But I could see something. I could see tears forming in her eyes.

  I went to her. Mary didn’t move. I put my hand out and waited. It seemed to hang there for an hour, but that was okay with me. I wanted her to think about it.

  The second verse started in. Just before I lowered my hand Mary reached out and took it. Now mine was steady and hers was trembling. She squeezed my hand as if she were falling from a cliff and I was the one who’d caught her.

  I pulled her to me.

  She let go of my hand and wrapped both arms around me. She put her head on my chest. I felt her warm breath through my shirt. The music enveloped us and we didn’t move for a long moment.

  And I realized then that all fear was gone. For just that moment, at least, it wasn’t inside me in any form. Or doubts. Or questions.

  For just that moment I was whole.

  I slid my head down so my lips were next to her ear. She inclined her head a little, listening.

  And then I said, “I will.”

  Table of Contents

  Cover

  Copyright

  Dedication

  Acknowledgments

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Chapter 22

  Chapter 23

  Chapter 24

  Chapter 25

  Chapter 26

  Chapter 27

  Chapter 28

  Chapter 29

  Chapter 30

  Chapter 31

  Chapter 32

  Chapter 33

  Chapter 34

  Chapter 35

  Chapter 36

  Chapter 37

  Chapter 38

  Chapter 39

  Chapter 40

  Chapter 41

  Chapter 42

  Chapter 43

  Chapter 44

  Chapter 45

  Chapter 46

  Chapter 47

  Chapter 48

  Chapter 49

  Chapter 50

  Chapter 51

  Chapter 52

  Chapter 53

  Chapter 54

  Chapter 55

  Chapter 56

  Chapter 57

  Chapter 58

  Chapter 59

  Chapter 60

  Chapter 61

  Chapter 62

  Chapter 63

  Chapter 64

  Chapter 65

  Chapter 66

  Chapter 67

  Chapter 68

  Chapter 69

  Chapter 70

  Chapter 71

  Chapter 72

  Chapter 73

  Chapter 74

  Chapter 75

  Chapter 76

  Chapter 77

  Chapter 78

  Chapter 79

  Chapter 80

  Chapter 81

  Chapter 82

  Chapter 83

  Chapter 84

  Chapter 85

  Chapter 86

  Chapter 87

  Chapter 88

  Chapter 89

  Chapter 90

  Chapter 91

  Chapter 92

  Chapter 93

  Chapter 94

  Chapter 95

  Chapter 96

  Chapter 97

&nb
sp; Chapter 98

  Chapter 99

  Chapter 100

  Chapter 101

  Chapter 102

  Chapter 103

  Chapter 104

  Chapter 105

  Chapter 106

  Chapter 107

  Chapter 108

  Chapter 109

  Chapter 110

  Chapter 111

  Chapter 112

  Chapter 113

  Chapter 114

  Chapter 115

  Chapter 116

  Chapter 117

  Chapter 118

  Chapter 119

  Chapter 120

  Chapter 121

  Chapter 122

  Chapter 123

  Chapter 124

  Chapter 125

  Chapter 126

  Chapter 127

  Chapter 128

  Chapter 129

  Chapter 130

  Chapter 131

  Chapter 132

  Chapter 133

  Chapter 134

  Chapter 135

  Chapter 136

  Chapter 137

  Chapter 138

  Chapter 139

  Chapter 140

  Chapter 141

  Chapter 142

  Chapter 143

  Chapter 144

  Chapter 145

  Chapter 146

  Chapter 147

  Chapter 148

  Chapter 149

  Chapter 150

  Chapter 151

  Chapter 152

  Chapter 153

  Chapter 154

  Chapter 155

  Chapter 156

  Chapter 157

  Chapter 158

  Chapter 159

  Chapter 160

  Chapter 161

  Chapter 162

  Chapter 163

  Chapter 164

  Chapter 165

  Chapter 166

  Chapter 167

  Chapter 168

  Chapter 169

  Chapter 170

  Chapter 171

  Chapter 172

  Chapter 173

  Chapter 174

  Chapter 175

  Chapter 176

  Chapter 177

  Chapter 178

  Chapter 179

  Chapter 180

  Chapter 181

  Chapter 182

  Chapter 183